Monday, April 3, 2017

Welcome April

I sit with writers block before actually typing anywords. I want to write the perfect post. I know that is not possible. I saw on social media the other day "IMPERFECT" spells out "IM PERFECT". That is how this post will be.

I went to bed yesterday evening with a head ache. My intense, real dreams only made it worse when I woke up at 6:00am. I dreamed I violently threw chairs in a classroom after being bullied. When I went back to sleep after taking ibuprofen I dreamed I was in a hotel. In this hotel there was a naked chick walking around. It looked to be my ex-wife. In that dream I kissed a girl for the thrill of it. I was directed to the 11th floor to find a person, a man whom could further direct me. It was a strange dream. Very realistic. I can't why any of the things were happening.

I''ve found "the truth" in a Marvelous Work and a wonder. I still can't decide if I'm solarian, lunarian, or stellarian. I wonder if I have time still to decide. I better still have time. That probably won't mean much to the average reader. I'm disorganized. I have disorganized schizophrenia. It's not fun. My condition is hearing voices. They say "don't do that", "You're worthless", "You're stupid", "kill yourself". I hear them at night when I'm trying to go to sleep. I hear them during the day when I'm awake.

 I enjoy sleeping much more than I do living. When I'm sleeping I'm dreaming. I'm not limited by anything in my dreams. I get afraid in my dreams. I'm not without fear in life. It's being able to go on in spite of the fear that determines my place in the race.

Something I learned from the radio is that I won the race of life before I even started racing. I still have to keep up the pace. This stage in life is a lot of contemplation and meditation. It's a lot of reading. I learn line upon line precept upon precept. I'm grateful for the warmth of a house. I very well could be homeless. I'm going to do something else. be excellent to each other. :)

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