What it means to me to be sidelined
Today monday the 27 of February 2017 I realize I am sidelined due to schizophrenia. I'm not in the trenches digging like the rest of 'em. Part of me is sad cause I'm not out there saying "Good morning. Hello. please and thank you." the other part of me is pleasantly surprised at the opportunity in front of me. The opportunity is to become something greater. Mentally I can practice so hard for the days I'm actually required to show up i.e. getting a shot, meeting with my doctor, etc. It's a long road. I'm travelling alone.
I lost my train of thought.
I am a person with schizophrenia. I used to need weed to write. Now I'm content without it. Sure things could get a whole lot more interesting if I was using however who is watching and reading? InI? InI have natural high. I get high to get low. that means I smoke to get low. I don't need that right now. I'm soaring through the clouds. blast off.
I'm not exactly happy with my position on the sidelines however I'm safe and that's the number one "aspect" of my life I could worry about. I'm not battling on buses. I'm not having to argue with anyone except for myself.
I love this phrase "fi chuu". It means something like "for reals".
I'm going to take a small nap be back with more sideline updates.
I'm back. I'm desperately trying to get stoned or drunk. Sobriety not only is boring it's hell. So getting high or drunk is heaven? Yes. It's a different reality that exist parallel to this square reality.
Some days I'm just holding on.
I stole that from radio disney.
I'm not gonna steal these lyrics. I could easily steal. Ideas are original in this parallel universe.
I had a dream this last sleep. I was having debate with the mormons. They sing O say what is truth? InI can't say truth is within one particular religion. It is within all the religions. InI worship yet InI no like this word worship. It seems antiquated and improper. InI adore jah rastafari because he is the king. InI claim no throne. Why would I say that? Maybe it's cause I'm a person trying to find meaning in my life.
InI back even though it doesn't seem like I was gone at all. I'm all about a good life. Good energy. I can change my mind in an instant.
I treat myself with natural scents and natural essential oils. I do it naturally. How much time before I'm off? I'm working and it's the last 5 minutes and I still have to work. Some of my greatest work has been done in this timeframe. It's when the clock is on and ticking. InI am naturally drunk. This is the life of this schizophrentic person. I am thinking. Here we go. Here we go again. This is wisdom and self-improvement. This is hopes and parallel realities converging onto one point. Now. Time is still racing. Beliefs I believe openly that Haile Sellasie is the world's greatest human since Christ. I adore this man because of the fruit of his life. It doesn't matter that they say he dead. When InI know his spirit lives on foriver. And it could be his body be trodding the earth. 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1.
Still time to work. hmmm what else could I include. JAH! trabajo en mis suenos pensando en espanol.