The modern medicine system by all my accounts is a crock.
It's hard to believe where I've been. This year has brought progress in the form of self respect and conquering anger.
My level is chilling for a living. Perhaps it will take I a lifetime to accomplish. I'd rather get started on this massive project now. I call it the 10,000 hours project.
Words to say in the morning? What does google have to say. Nothing good.
Here we go:
Welcome to the new day
Today is the 13th of July.
Mi primer pensamiento es "No esta trabajando"
Mi segundo pensamiento es "Eres un fraude"
Mi tercer pensamiento es "Paz en la tierra"
Mi cuarto pensamiento es "Cuarto? Di mejor dormitorio"
Mi quinto pesamiento es "Necesito musica"
Mi sexto pensamiento es "Preguntas y charlas"
Mi septimo pensamiento es "No se lo que estoy pensando"
Mi decimo pensamiento "Please let science cure my 'disease' and put a way to get back home"
Thinking is hard. It is difficult. Writing no less is a huge task. Our writing is designed for the modern brain of gimme now or else.
Is there really that big of difference?
There is substantial difference in the way I feel. Without this **** I feel terrible. I think the thought and then filter it at the same time. Why am I so interested in how I think?
40 day dream by Edward Sharpe and the magnetic zeros. I'm not sure how this sounds. I shouldn't be speaking right now but I am. This is all of a sudden the review of the cush. The cush get I plenty ripped. Gives I cottonmouth to not want to speak. These are my words. For however monotonous they are.
My vision is I print this book out and give it to a lawyer. He reads it and my testimony is brought before the mormon church to have certain doctrines accepted as cannon and part of the GOspel.
Hell who am I kidding?
Honestly I'm down in the ditch cause I'm not going anywhere. I'm stationary like a Sims character.
Wake you all from bed. I'd rather steal lyrics from albums I listen to to make them mine.
I don't like the way this canvas in going
This is the new slate.
Not working just getting ripped.
I am working this is the voice in my head. I am a small boy maybe of 3 years old. I'm having an out of body cellular experience. Does that make sense. I'm growing at my own pace: slow.
Sort of don't want to be part of the beast. The beast is in my own mind. I'm always on the verge of clean slate and do overs. I realize there are no do overs in life. Hi how are you? Singing like a rancher in my head oh no I'd rather be dead! Not true not anymore. This side is the best.
I've gotten high and I've legitamatly head voices. They were not hallacinations. Well yes they were for that one person. I've said too much. I see my fate in pleading for mercy at the mercy seat. Whatever that means. Why is it I who decides who God is? Jah. Not in the anthropomorphic sense but the sense of everythingness. Tha force for good that encompasses allah, Jesus, Haile Sellasie.
I have a question for the powers that be:
Is there sin? I thinketh not. That the notion is in our own heads.
How can I not mention spontaneously the current album I'm reviewing Up from Below. By ES and Magnetic Zeros. Great title. I love always thinking of saying magnetic zeros and then not actually saying anything.
Life is like a claymation movie. Wallace and Grommit. Life is good but there's a lot of it. So you gotta pace yourself.
All of sudden I feel my schizofrania set in. I get paranoid over nothing. I start tripping when I need sit back and watch the changing of the seasons.
I have plenty of things on my mind. They mostly bring me guilt. I want those things to go away and I want an entirely new set to impress upon my mind.
I am a funny dummy
I am supernice
I am love incarnate
WHAT TO THINK
WHAT TO BUY
WHAT TO EAT
WHAT NOT TO EAT
Making a list
Time is running out. Anger! (some anger is postive feminine. An anger that is negative masculine is unwanted)
Recognizing as an MC I would have a struggle to get up this hill. Literary speaking.
Oh em gee. At what point to I stop and say this moment is sacred.
As soon as I start thinking of my movie it goes negative. I don't know why I can't see things like roller coasters, badmintons, and wakeboarding.
Simulated wakeboarding that had you jump a physical gap in your mind. Sponteneous combustion requires spark plugs. Man, Binary Star got the phrase In my head. I shouldn't be saying this cept I am. I'm wanted for murder in the 1st degree. I'm innocent and guilty. I did the crimes in a parallel universe and I feel no remorse. I actually feel kind of good about it. This was still my testimony not of God but man's will to survive despite all negative elements effecting the subject. Recognizeing my own work for runon but not worrying about it. Listen to what Baloo says. The bear necesities.. I'm still with you folks this is the dream radio program on 90.3 FM . Hearing the voice in my head, Snap Judgement (fade away). It's right there. I can see it. The evidence or proof of the greatest discovery of all time. It happened during I come in please. Still the first hour. This is my novel setting. In a vast, expansive nothingness. Good song by the way. It's Artsy. It's real music.
It appears I have lost my voice. La voz que tenias era todas las voices. Ahora hablas como mujer adelantada. Puedo en mi mente ser todo. Que? Como es posible? Poder de este nivel se creeia que era impossible
Trouble is not trying to make something that it isn't by bringing conversation about the one I worship.
This is the treatment of Babylon? Kisses? El latin tiene algo de la juventud. Es mantener esa chispa de la vida. Asi me influye mis habitos del trabajo y recreo.
All of a sudden I felt like I was narrating the movie of my life. This scene was an important scene of self discovery. I know my thoughts but how well? About as well as I can sanely get to know them. Any thing that goes beyond the sanctity of the body.
Honestly if my writing didn't sound patriotic and straight I would scrap it and start over.
Coming back to writing after a long trip.
In my head exclusively.
Life without mary jane seems so dull and hopeless.
Om Nashi Me. Continued journey. Thoughts dabbler.
Getting smashed upon the wall with pure imagination.
It's the atom smasher of the mind. I'm a stop. I am going to quit for all that is good and healthy. Learning to type sober. Learning what to blog about. Slowly but surely winning the race. Turtle status.
This is I saying something substantial. Don't party people front. I am not afraid and what they tell me is true. Changing epigenetics.
Getting tired and wanting to sleep. At the end of the day I haven't said anything at all.
It's the only way I know how to continue. Getting fucked up and then claiming It was all a vision.
"Well it was and is" said the LORD
"We are in a computer simulation"
And at that point I found myself so lost but in a good way. Like there was pleasure in being lost.
WHAT THE HELL, THOUGHT. It's not cool to be lost. WHY IN THE WORLD IS MY THOUGHT INDUCING CHRONIC THROUGHT IMBALANCE.
I feel the cirular energy all the time.
Intention and divinity get me through. I ride through life as if I was on a golden chariot. Maths. Very cool, very ily meditation. We are talking. It is use the Gods. The manipulators of the pronouns and names. Who is doing the typing. It is I Justin Movick, son of a carpenter. Is it not this the same Justin David. The very one indeed my liege. This is more like it why is the illeagle? Why does "POT" have a negative stigma? It's just a plant. People go crazy about weed being some gateway to pyschosis. Those who said that (and I knew personally some of them) could go to hell for spreading misinformation.
FB THOUGHT: Brookstone chair is amazing.
Today I was going to descend into the bowells and jah of hells. It certainly was confusing. The whole lot. InI didn't believe in God incarnate. Not anymore. I believe in myself. I push this button all day and my money is sent to me. The ultimate dream. It has been emancipated. Who's to say I can't do this and play with the powers that be.
"God knows the true desire of our heart"
What can I say other than I'm stoned and typing. I'm thinking about as good I I think I'd wanna type and say out loud. Does that make sense? I could be completely drunk on power right now. I feel like I've been getting "transmissions" and "divine visions." I have been motherfuckers I'm crazy like that mother fucker dave chappelle getting high on that endo weed cuz. We ain't playing no games this shit is for real. I could care less what yo momma say.
"Remember mom I've love you always and no matter what."
This was my own version of trying to please somebody. I couldn't take sides anymore. I was done. I would choose nondualism to appease the mind. It could say that better always and forever. Runon. Getting high grammatical rules smarts intelligence doctrine
having the fun ripped out from what you are doing. What a buzzkill.
RealizingI'm so far pulled into my own ass I needed to wakeup and smell the roses.
How could I smell the roses? I'm a mental parapelygic. Schizofrania is scarring. Social situations were all self damning. Knowing what to say and then choosing no to say it. Then choosing not to say anything at all. I have become quite dark in this time. Wanting to somehow break through. I have to live in this pyschosis I can talk if I want to check one two this is mc escher on the mic. The explosions continued. In my own mind they continued and all I knew is that the enemy would come any minute. They'd come for our women and children. Ohmai ga it's so difficult to write on here. I type in letters staring into a box. I'd heard that before and that was just crazy.
I had some mind and or some nerve coming round here again. I was thinking of a dream. What did I need? I needed help from myself. To ask help from ourselves we need be honest.
Knowing it's slow but up. It's not down. It's in this trippy land faraway like the __________. I was lost. Maybe at the end of the day I'm saying I'm representing the Book of the Mormons. Except I believe each person must write a story of their own life and represent that.
I'm fucked up. Can I just say that? I'm stuck. I'm not lo. Trying to comeup in the ether. That's why I need a spirit goddess like ayhuasca to tell me STOP SMOKING WEED! THIS COULD BE YEARS.
I feel like I just took a vanex. What's the difference in thinking it than actually taking it?
Writing is just meditation for the mind. So was so is so will be. My so was thought pattern.
I'm reviewing this. I feel like I took scopolamine. I'm in this hypnotic state susceptible to other's thoughts and whims.
I lose. There is no way I win. I'm shot down. My high is surreal. Thinking things are good. Knowing they could be better. Letting the thought evolve it's self butterfree. Pokemon GO. I just won in a sense. We don't got no concious.
I had experienced the mandella effect like a once in a lifetime. Journey. New York is still impressing my mind. Not knowing it could get so real. Love is on the cusp but it is never shared. Getting ready to blossom.
Props to the newest king around in the rap game "Isaiah Rashad." Me believeing this is the end will only produce pain. InI could see inside the music. Going crazy not insane just inside rather than outside individual loss for words thinking playing spelling words. I love spelling. What would I like to say? Get it straight please. Nobody wants to see your fairy antics. The truth is hard to swallow. I spit the truth out. I came I saw I conquered.
It was a simple as that.
I like work. Work likes me.
Knowing I've been tripping this whole thing in my mind. Having the Fung Shuwey to properly administer the drug. It is medicine. Enables visions and watching people for the fun of it. Getting to the next level and realizing it was the same level the entire time. Letting China lead the way. Why not? China had been pushing the world to new heights and feats unlike any other mankind has ever seen. This is one small step for man, One giant leap for mankind. What was it a giant leap towards? Greater knowledge of interdependence? Being the puppet master and the puppet. Inside I-mind. Recording thoughts for future generations. Sacrificing everything for the benefit of human race kind. The question is the then: Are you human race material? Ask yourself honestly when the last time you said I love you to your loved ones? I say we make new legislation requiering chinese to be taught in our schools mandatory for all grades. We'll import all these teachers.
Dear teacher fu,
Why haven't I been able to see demons yet? I thought it was simple. Now in my mind I'm doing double the work not saying anything. This is the irony of the play version. It's science fiction. Tied to the present day viewed from the third eye. Slow almost like consumption. No have everything make sense. Having conviction is what my master would have me say. I've lost it teacher. I've completely lost it. I'm going so far as to take Scopolamine just to say I can't make desicions by myself. Location. Where is the location of x, y, and z thought respectively.
Not crying anymore but still being reverent. I believed in solace and in quiet contemplation. Life is long and needs lots of time alone thinking about nothing. Here we go the children are all set up now. They were going to sing. Knowing the my words are ever flowing like the water stream.
Being proud but not too proud. Loving every minute second and hour of it. Not getting down about staying up. Please masculine come to the land of the feminem. Feel. Convince others of this idea. This was my programming because obvious I am CPU. There's being a little stupid and then there is being a lot stupid. Gates. We're talking gates all day. AND NAND OR XOR. I use my mind to work. Except I don't I can't I'm just immitating. My whole life I've been imitating. Given away some but not all.
Reviewing the past as a healthy habit. Reviewing pyschological indicators about myself.
Continuing with a frown but truly with a smile but the frown had to be dominant. I was animatronic insomuch as I thought I'm animatronic. I'm light. I'm magic. I'm Disney. I'm creation. I'm death. I'm hallucination in the stillness. I am struggle conquered. Desires finally curbed.
Feeling like a midget little person. I remember thinking I remember thinking. This isn't happening right now. I'd gone so far into the trip. Finally I'm coming on through to the other side. This was a relief because I could tell my friends. There was no secret to reveal nor conceal. This is the truth and most certainly the greatest of all truths innocence but my maker. Clear concious. Allah must be the supreme ruler of the universe. There has to be one.
Coming up from having descended to the tombs of melchezidek. This was a story of war and betrayal. Multiple.
I have to record this cause it's on my mind. I'm so grateful to have Rich in my life so he can watch over and protect us. To see him so strong brightens my day. Knowing that one day in the next x amount of years Rich will pass away. It was hard for me to accept it but I knew it were true. If only we were all the same.