Friday, January 20, 2017

Saturday1

Saturday
Freewrite
mind block constipation rage unlocked time ticks by dependency learning how to live. Coming out of the woodwork. InI remindation of responsibilities writing thinking writing thinking. This is how I am thinking. Startling remindation of my illness. I've got to get myself right. InI don't know what I'm living for. Lay it to rest man. Just live this moment. I'm anxious in this moment. It's like angels and devils have been inhabiting my brain space for far too long.  I can't take it. It sure is a nailbiter. wait don't do that. (evil laugh track)
I can't seem to get a grip on reality. It's like I've lost it. Whatever it is. It's like the artificial urgency device is flashing in my mind and I don't know what it means. I feel discombobulated. Beating myself up for past mistakes. Just watered the plant. Overtime cycles. What does it all mean?
I guess I've lost sight of the mc game. It takes a tremendous amount of energy to be an MC. I'd like this book to be a new york times best seller. No time to stay, the same too late, to keep the change.
It doesn't take much to get me right. My brain works like that. I burn hell. Trying to go to heaven in Jesus name. Get up stand up. InI won't let them hold me down.  It's easy to say mentally "I'm done" unplug me from the matrix. That's when the perciever need get off my arse and do some pushups. I feel helpless. Like its just me against the clock and the clock is winning. Anything I conjour up to come out on top is already a half step behind. InI miss my friends. Whatever friends I did have. I'm not so sure I've even had "friends." It's hard to maintain frame i.e. focus as I type this. Life is my job. Honestly it's not that easy. Even sleep is a burden. Why is it this way? I have to carry this "load." Why do I feel like social media is a distraction as well as worthy cause. Maybe I feel boxed in. What have I been saying this whole time. I'd hate for this to be a waste of time. Then again time wasting is a relative concept. Some would say sex is wasting time. I actually don't know who would actually say that.
What's next? The same of the same. InI stay fresh with the burning of evil.Apparently there is lots today. I'm sleeping. That's what except I'm zombie typing. This is my book it's not very good. It is however honest. Perhaps a little too honest. I never could lie wit a straight face.
UNTIL NOW. The lie has been embedded with a super technology that enables lies to be made. Why does it seem like they are the liars.What was the great lie? The great lie. See even the internet has been tainted by it. I don't know where to go. That is the great plague effecting InI. Check one two one two. MC esher on the mic.
See look I'm more determined with HOW than with WHERE however I'm getting there I'm getting there KUSH. I will never be able to spell. I can get any kind of car I want. I can change the past and future.
The great lie civilization. Best said by John Trudell. It's not civil.
The quanity is better than the quality. Wait reverse that.
MMM me no nou
these are the words I last used. They are hardly words. This just to show how much of idiot I am. At the same time I'm a brainiac. In others words. I can learn to take a compliment. Jah love. Everybody knew how great weed was I was just writing about. Here's the thing the prayer should not be trivialized. What does it mean? Nobody knows what it means it's provactive.
What was the "normal" world? I couldn't tell any more. All I knew that.... huh I don't know why I go past tense. If I go past I can change it. Like my first memory. Peter Tosh said it, "If you come from Portland you're an african. So does it mean we all start using the n word. Well no we got to realize that there is an idea that goes beyond us. That we are invidiual Is. InI is the true soul. This knowledge has been crushed from the memory bank of the layman. The question of when to release was totally in my hands not literally. Losing track of the world also means losing track of time. We all know what that means. The type of person I am. I am the type of person that just doesn't give a fuck so I use fallacies erroneously. I'm dumbing it down. I'm teaching myself then downing it even more. This was the new normal.
See I don't have to fully understand myself to accept reprogramming. I call it how it is. I have to make this non-fiction. There. I lost it just then. What I do is pick it back up again. I'm doing everything to try to not be a marijuana addict. I'm wondering wasting my time thinking about stupid things: Yolandi and Ninja that's a good duo except why not the blacks in south africa better off.
One  thing I knew for sure was the world was in constant copulation.
It's like I go trying huh I lost my idea.
Oh yes. I hide my ideas by typing them. This is how InI go lion.
Album reviews no. on to better things
Repatriation. Apartheid. Two words that probably mean nothing to the average american. I want to change. Or do i?
I do. Already. I married the game. This is what I'm thinking. Creation in the space and time of my ancestors. InI say I come from Africa. Mama Africa is warm and by my side. Check one two. I have the words greatest raps when I can speak. There is a reason I do this sepearted.
Was a gangster. Part of me wanted to think so. Horale esse ya estamos hablando mi idioma. Second time through is by a more atonymous individual. I didn't know what to do. The next . Idk straight from the soul ayayay this is my thinking ayayay. I don't know what to say. Nothing. Good morning. This guy was always teaching me. My thought was frustration but not despise.
I took a bullet for a compadre just now. InI clusterfucked in my brainwaves. It's hard AF to get through these days. I didn't know what direction I want to take in my life. It's good to know we're all connected. The direction I want to take is happy. Whatever that means. I'll criticize myself now and then and then i just brush it off. It's better than doing nothing. What if I'm still being a dictator. Good it'll be a still photo.
I have faith in Christ. We're talking about burning demons. I have been able to check out the real situation by having faith in Christ. It's just a natural thing I do. If it feels right don't deny it. Did I mention my Christ is black. Whether he actually is or isn't is debatable. We need to ask ourselves this question in our inner lives. It matters. The way we interact.
So again I say I'm learning. What if something bad happens? We'll be waiting for it won't we (InI). This thing you call love. What is it?
Life is slightly tolerable. one can only burn so much evil. Work at a slug pace. Solid work nevertheless. InI missed family. Separate the child from the man the man from the child.
5th gear. Talking barking observation.
Having faith in me and everything will be all right.
God damn beefers. If it had not been  for them god damn beefers we'd still have bessie alive.  Ever since her death charles hadn't been the same. The beefers were the enemy.
Mi pensamiento en forma phsyica. Don't touch your face. Listen to the music. Na don't listen write a limerek. I could deal with this situation. InI am changing. I am inside this album review I'm not sure if I'm still writing reviews.
Sparking a companion. One demiurge takeover. Simulation run from demons. One light expel them all. InI on a mystic pyschedelik. "mind on the mantra mantra on the mind."
InI can see it. Good now keep it in view. I can't expect to maintain this pace all night. I got past all my demons it seems. Except maybe for one. Did I have one? OMG I AM FLIPPING OUT.
So I remember the message you sent me only love is real
I wake up and then go back to sleep. I encompass myself with love. Basining the rest in fear?
mantra on my mind mind on my mantra
"mantra is my shield"
Aum trayambakam yajamahe sugandhim-pushti-vardhanam
urvarukamiva  bondhanam brtyormo-mokshiamomretot om
So was I in or out? I don't think I was "in" in the first place.
In my mind I hear music I've made with the guitar in the past. Perhaps this was ghost writing.
It's come to this: living a drug induced dream.
Expectation.  The topic is expectation. What is required of us? What is this  worry that InI make it?
10,000 hour project.
InI set a new groove of waking up in I-dream. What a better way to put it!
Alcohol. The subject is alcohol.
Do you intake it? No I well yes I do. Do I intake alcohol.. Of course.
Of course I knew what I would do before mindlessly watching youtube videos I would type.  Have you ever seen an arab? There are ishamelites and then there are isrealites. might as well be an album review of stick figure's set in stone. If you're just catching up with us we're halfway through Choice is yours.
I get lost in my dreams except I can see myself in that dream. would I do what was neccesary to get there? probably not
we all the choice simply put.
open up and read between the lines all right.
Stop. breathe. one two one two.
open up your imagination
There's a reason I'd do something I'd be with maddie wtf
there's a oneliner
this album really has a nice cholitos kinda feel. And then this white dude comes on the track but you're like "Oh waddup"? The most badass story you could hear coming from this track. Y este era el mes septimo. After a certain while it does start to drag but then youre like woah  Is this just a crazy dream? I really think so.
iaya clean face rasta!
my gurl: who knows she's on edge.
me why are you on edge?
my gurl: I'm not on edge
me there's comes a point when I'm certain I wasn't suppposed to have any relationships
my thought I killed it! I simply killed it.
This album gives plenty of time for personal thought. love it. thumbs up.
"Ooh that's hot" it's got me retracing my steps. I really had lost my cookie.
When the perciever THINKS about what the singer is saying it makes so much sense and JESUS LAWD AND SAVIOR! See it's just too much cletus. This is a blog for goodness sake gotta spice it up ya know
Then at about smoking love I say oh yup that was me i once let my mind go to the track.
And then again I find myself in these elaborate illusions it's like I paint them on my mind .
Then it's like woah you know that's a really good point.
The album just seems to go on. I'm not quite convinced to see them live.
I had a secret for once I wasn't going to disclose a vital piece of information unless you axe me for it politely.
I find it easy to agree with the good vibes. Then again I am schizofranic.
InI "Justin Movick" representing on the mic LBC Hollywood do you copy
There's a certain point in the album you say to yourself am I drowning?
There's a crazy point when it's like damn...what happened to me?
YOU DON'T EXIST!
THERE IS ONLY LOVE!!!
Creation pan creation we have love. Disada end of days. Yes. me well proper anylyze the stench it's bad creation is good! Forward thinkers just kept going InI came back round. It goes on.
All this talk of smiling. I just didn't feel like I could smile again. Not after Fernando left me. I'll never be alone again. haha that's not what I meant did I say that out lout
Last track keys up the world stage badabing badaboom! Wow this track is... what? feel half day? That is honestly what I heard! What they trying to do? JK So to finish out this is mc escher justin Movick on the track one two this is what i say this is how we play bravo I'm just going to transition into breathe on the album actually no. Let's keep it that way. It only has  to make sense inasmuch as I think it exists.
I think it's time well good night folks have sweet dreams jmo

No comments:

Post a Comment